Part of the FSG's problem is her family. The more they goaded her about her weight, the more she refused to do anything about it. It's a vicious circle really as she just tuned out those who comments about it be it her mother, brother, various aunts and cousins, she just tuned out. She even get pissy with her mother at one time, questioning whether she really cares about her or just her appearance.
Though she may look like she doesn't care, she actually does. She loves magazines, all those glossies with fancy expensive clothes modelled by stick thin models and shot by world famous photogs. While she never really wanted to be in fashion magazine, she wanted to wear the clothes. She wanted to be able to go to the mall and try everything she likes. She wanted to believe that the only reason she's not wearing those clothes is because of the price, not size. Even back in LA she knew she had a problem. All the funky clothes she wants does not come in her size but she just zoomed into denial, buying leather shoes and bags instead.
One would think, being back home where the people are considerably smaller than in the States would change her mind, but no. She just stay in denial mode. Although she really has problem shopping for clothes, the wonderful thing about being home is that she can get them made to measure instead. So while she may not able to sashay into Metro and slide her card for that Biyan outfit, she can definitely spent happy time in Mayestik, sorting out fabrics and getting them made. Or, if she's in the mood for buying actual clothes, some of her sister's friend are in the business. So she just visit their house/atelier/boutique, see the collection and pick whatever she likes. Chance are even if there's none her size, they could make it just for her. What luck eh!
So, what does it take for her to get out of her denial? Not even her wedding could persuade her to lose her weight drastically. She did lose some kilos but not model size kilos. She's still a 'big' bride. She gained weight for the pregnancy so she hire a personal trainer to work out with her for 2 months. She lost some weight. But then, as the PT ended, so did her resolve. With no one paid to push her, she just let exercise slide and reverting back to old routine...
Friday 21 December 2007
Wednesday 19 December 2007
The FSG - Formerly Skinny Girl
Once upon a time, there was a skinny girl who doesn't like to eat but loves cats very much. Her mother would cajole her into eating by prepping foods she likes, giving vitamins, even traditional remedies to get her appetite up but no avail. Until one day, her mother decided that it was time for her to learn how to swim. Coincidentally, it was also at the same time the girl decided to take up ballet, her head filled with pretty ballerinas twirling in glittery tutus, and dreamed that she too would wear such glittery, billowy tutu with a handsome prince at her side. Such was the dream.
So she became quite busy what with ballet, swimming, basketball and other extracurricular activities that came her way that she began to build an appetite. She began to eat. Then, as life would have it, hormones that was dormant decided to wake up and she became ravenous. She became known as "The Human Garbage", eating seconds and thirds of whatever she fancied, finishing food whenever the family ate out. As she was somewhat active she didn't actually become overly huge. Depending on which country she happened to be in, she could be average size veering on the small or she could be on the bigger side. Then she hits her twenties and that's when things start to go sideways.
At Uni, she suddenly has all the time in the world, her only obligation is to go to her academic classes and as she is not athletically inclined thus freed from mandatory PE classes she just do away with sports altogether and though she likes dancing, it just somehow slipped out of her mind. She could take dance classes but just didn't. While she did go out clubbing everynow and then, it was so infrequent it couldn't count as regular exercise. As she doesn't do pub crawl, at weekends when the shops are closed she goes out to eat. A lot. Chinese, Indian, Italian, Thai, Japanese, British, French, Spanish, she tried everything available. Her culinary knowledge expanded. So did her waistline.
Because she went to universities in pedestrian cities, she's somewhat saved by walking around everywhere. The fat cells don't grow as fast. Towards the end of her studies she even made the effort of joining a gym, get a personal trainer, and was on the way to get stomach definition. Then, of course she had to move to a car city where the only walking done is around the mall and when doing photocopies at work. All those stomach muscles slowly pack their bags and migrate out.
But that wasn't really bad. Yes, by then she's officially overweight, but there's still hope as her new office was on the third floor with no elevator. Although all those snacking during creative meetings didn't really helped at least those ghastly shooting schedule balanced it out. Then she got pregnant. Quit work. Have another child. And now she's seriously overweight.
While she knows she needs to exercise, she finds it really hard to get going. Someone needs to whup her ass. Or at least commiserate on the treadmill together. But waiting for that someone... she could wait forever. Or is she really willing to just while away her time being fat, overweight and unhealthy?
So she became quite busy what with ballet, swimming, basketball and other extracurricular activities that came her way that she began to build an appetite. She began to eat. Then, as life would have it, hormones that was dormant decided to wake up and she became ravenous. She became known as "The Human Garbage", eating seconds and thirds of whatever she fancied, finishing food whenever the family ate out. As she was somewhat active she didn't actually become overly huge. Depending on which country she happened to be in, she could be average size veering on the small or she could be on the bigger side. Then she hits her twenties and that's when things start to go sideways.
At Uni, she suddenly has all the time in the world, her only obligation is to go to her academic classes and as she is not athletically inclined thus freed from mandatory PE classes she just do away with sports altogether and though she likes dancing, it just somehow slipped out of her mind. She could take dance classes but just didn't. While she did go out clubbing everynow and then, it was so infrequent it couldn't count as regular exercise. As she doesn't do pub crawl, at weekends when the shops are closed she goes out to eat. A lot. Chinese, Indian, Italian, Thai, Japanese, British, French, Spanish, she tried everything available. Her culinary knowledge expanded. So did her waistline.
Because she went to universities in pedestrian cities, she's somewhat saved by walking around everywhere. The fat cells don't grow as fast. Towards the end of her studies she even made the effort of joining a gym, get a personal trainer, and was on the way to get stomach definition. Then, of course she had to move to a car city where the only walking done is around the mall and when doing photocopies at work. All those stomach muscles slowly pack their bags and migrate out.
But that wasn't really bad. Yes, by then she's officially overweight, but there's still hope as her new office was on the third floor with no elevator. Although all those snacking during creative meetings didn't really helped at least those ghastly shooting schedule balanced it out. Then she got pregnant. Quit work. Have another child. And now she's seriously overweight.
While she knows she needs to exercise, she finds it really hard to get going. Someone needs to whup her ass. Or at least commiserate on the treadmill together. But waiting for that someone... she could wait forever. Or is she really willing to just while away her time being fat, overweight and unhealthy?
Tuesday 6 November 2007
Part 3 - Reasons to Exercise
Yes, she knows, one is supposed to lead a healthy life, exercise and eat well and all that. But how come when it comes to actually doing it one is suddenly so damn unavailable? Hubby hints the other day that didn't she bought a sneaker the other day? Eer... yes... it is there on the credit card statement. So how come he never sees her wearing it? She could of course, provide an elaborate answer saying oh I exercise when you're at work etc etc etc... But the simple truth is, the shoes are still in the box.
Reasons why the shoes are still in the box:
1) She bought it just before Ramadhan. One could but does not desire to exercise during fasting. Prefer to sleep. Or read the Quran.
2) She's in the middle of redecorating her apt - read: re arranging her study, books, etc. Thus is 'exercising' around the house.
3) Lost some weight during Ramadhan. No need to exercise yet.
But you know, those lost kilos are quickly finding themselves. Worse, they bring their friends and their sisters along. Oy! The FSG really really must get off her butt and haul them downstairs to the gym. It's there, it's free - well they already paid for it with the monthly service charge. So what is this imaginary boulder that blocks her path from the gym? Especially when she actually needs it. Badly. Diabetic Dad, family history of heart disease and asthma, a husband, two kids. Does she needs a longer list?
She has the books, the props, some gear. She even promised herself a red iPod. Still, she procastinates. Even though she told her daughter don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Hypocrite much?
Reasons why the shoes are still in the box:
1) She bought it just before Ramadhan. One could but does not desire to exercise during fasting. Prefer to sleep. Or read the Quran.
2) She's in the middle of redecorating her apt - read: re arranging her study, books, etc. Thus is 'exercising' around the house.
3) Lost some weight during Ramadhan. No need to exercise yet.
But you know, those lost kilos are quickly finding themselves. Worse, they bring their friends and their sisters along. Oy! The FSG really really must get off her butt and haul them downstairs to the gym. It's there, it's free - well they already paid for it with the monthly service charge. So what is this imaginary boulder that blocks her path from the gym? Especially when she actually needs it. Badly. Diabetic Dad, family history of heart disease and asthma, a husband, two kids. Does she needs a longer list?
She has the books, the props, some gear. She even promised herself a red iPod. Still, she procastinates. Even though she told her daughter don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Hypocrite much?
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